SIGH. My mind is all over the place when it comes to writing lately. It seems like every time I get to the keyboard, my mind goes blank and I don’t know how to articulate the genius, or at the very least, interesting thoughts I feel like sharing with you. Do you ever feel like that? You think about doing the thing, doing the thing, and the day comes and then you’re like - wait….what do I do with myself now?
As I’ve mentioned before, Extra Foam is very much like a public diary for me, and that’s not for everyone. Should I even call this a newsletter? What news am I sharing, if not just my own complaints or personal accomplishments? (or lack thereof).. How vain! And who cares?
Well. I do, and I love writing so that’s why I keep doing it. I don’t let the thought, better yet, the fact that people have their own shit going on, and are very likely not thinking about this tiny thing in their inbox amongst the hundreds of other things peppering into their lives through little screens deter me from sharing this part of me. And neither should anyone else!
Yeah, sometimes I down play it, even though I know I shouldn’t. Yeah, maybe it’s kinda cringe, or feels unimportant in the grand scheme of things..but you know what? Chicken butt.
This is your one grand life babe. You’re gonna die, remember? (talking to myself here, and you, of course) That company you hate working for? They’ll replace you without a second thought, so take the personal day. Leave early, take breaks, say ‘no’ and do not elaborate. The people pleasing has got to stop. Other people don’t need to understand why you make the decisions for your life that you do. Let them be confused!
Time is going to pass by whether you do something with it or not. That man isn’t worth your tears, that ‘friend’ who makes you feel like you can’t do it is projecting, and the number of likes on your photo don’t mean anything. The traffic lights will continue to turn red and then green again. The leaves will change on the same trees you drive by each morning. The branches will have grown, shed and bud new leaves, meanwhile you’re still in the same place, blaming your circumstances and haven’t realized that it’s you and you alone standing in your own way.
Sigh.
So, how about we start enjoying ourselves? How about we stop fuckin around and realize what actually matters? Yes, we may still have to clock in at the job that doesn’t align with what we really envision for ourselves right now, and that fuckin sucks, but that’s cool, that’s cool. Do what you need to do, take their money, and work on at least one thing for yourself every day that does align with the future you dream about. Whether that’s waking up early, learning a new language, working out, learning how to film vlogs, listening to podcasts about financial wealth, writing out (ON PAPER) your dreams and goals. Tune into your life NOW. The time is passing anyway, so what are you doing with it?
I’ve been working in hospital administration for a little over 7 years now. And….it’s not for me. I’m grateful for the experiences and that it’s helped me to pay my bills but I don’t love the environment, I don’t make enough money, I’m not having fun and I just simply don’t belong there.
When you have a dream living inside of you, being somewhere you know you don’t belong can be exhausting. My colleagues talk and it all sounds like white noise. I don’t care because I’m not committed. I’m not committed because this is not my destiny. I can feel the difference between my circumstances and the truth that lives inside of me and it’s uncomfortable. I feel out of place and disconnected where I currently am and believe me, it only gets increasingly more difficult to ignore that little voice telling you the truth. The truth that there is more to your story, more to your life, and you need to go out and get it.
I share my experiences, perspectives and opinions in the form of drawn out paragraphs riddled with errors, GIF’s laughing at my pain and trivial little facts I find interesting and send them out into the world. Believe it or not, I still hold back on this newsletter/blog/online diary because I think that what I have to share isn’t ‘good enough’, sometimes. Unlearning is hard, but continuing to believe that what I have to offer will never be good enough? That’s harder.
I don’t make any much money from this. I have a handful of friends and lovely strangers turned friends who are paid subscribers, and there have been days where that monthly deposit was really needed and I count my blessings for every single person who takes the time to subscribe and read my itty bitty words. I will never stop screeching how thankful I am at the end of every post.
How I got here? One day I simply realized that I’m going to love writing whether I’m getting paid to do it or not, so why not do something that makes me feel aligned with who I really am? That’s part of it all. The healing, the changing, the realizing. If you’re lucky, you get to the realizing part sooner than later, and it’s hard to see that when you’re going through it. When your situation isn’t ideal. When opportunities seem to be knocking on everyone’s door but yours. Keep moving forward. You can start over, and over, and over and over again. Your lane, your timeline, your life.
That little voice inside of you that calls you every so often? That’s YOU, boo! The real you. Reminding you, calling you, reassuring you that you indeed, can, and that you have IT. Don’t send your own potential to voicemail.
On that note. Sorry not sorry if this may have been yet another piece pushing you to be the best version of yourself. I know a lot of those roll out around this time of year but I wanted to share what has been pushing me and keeping me afloat. Seasonal depression, anxiety, self-depricating thoughts and all the rest, it can be consuming! So take it easy on yourself. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all :)
Are you a resolutions kind of person? Or have you been working away at new goals ahead of the start of 2025?
Thank you for coming by. I appreciate you so much! I’m publishing this hours before my birthday on Tuesday, and I couldn’t feel happier to be apart of this small community of people online who share, connect and are vulnerable with themselves and others.
I do a happy dance every single time I receive a new subscriber, so please subscribe if you feel so inclined, leave me a comment, share with a friend and tap that heart for me.
I also accept love and appreciation in the form of lattes, which you can do right here ;)
Talk to you all soon!
xoxoxx
kisses
This is the first time I’ve read something by you after stumbling upon it! I loved this and relate so much! I don’t love my job but it pays the bills and could be much worse. But I love writing and getting to post my “silly” little newsletters free from stress is so fulfilling in the places my job isn’t.
Happy birthday and thanks for sharing this piece!!
I enjoyed this!! 💗🤭