Future You Is Calling, And She's High AF
On Life That Is...September Feels & Rebranding Myself
I’m not drinking a drop of whiskey until December y’all. And I don’t drink whiskey! Okay, okay seriously though, I’m more of a full-bodied red wine lover, a classic margarita gal, a double gin and tonic if I really want to burn my esophagus and tell someone that I love their energy within minutes of meeting them…
This one may be a bit chaotic friends, but stay with me. I’m in my rebranding era right now..
LMAO. I know I know. I don’t know why I cringe at both writing and reading that back, but you see, that’s part of the problem! Why is that cringe to me? I like cringe, to a certain degree….Some things are simply unacceptable, of course, like when people hold spoons like a shovel and ‘Scott’s Tots’, season 6, episode 12 of The Office, but I digress. LET’S BE CRINGEY BABY! Let’s dance!
So what did the whiskey have to do with anything? Well, in addition to a few changes I’ve started to make in my every day, not drinking is one of them. I’ve given myself until my birthday which just so happens to be in December during the most wonderful time of all. Maybe I end up having some mulled wine, maybe I don’t.
It’s not that I’ve been throwing a glass back every day, but I do find myself looking to a drink sometimes as a crutch. A way to escape reality, get the giggles or feel less bad about whatever it is that I’ve spent too much time in my head brewing about. Socially, sure, I want to have a drink but hey, guess who doesn’t even have many social plans?
Yeah - hi, me. And I’m cool with that right now. I’m just doing me. Honouring my temple and shit, you know? Now what I will partake in, however, is a little spliffy-boo, a little pineapple gummy, a pull or two of a nice indica while the sun sets and I enjoy a nice bowl of high protein chia pudding with maple almond butter. Baby, I am California sober til Christmas! I dig getting high a whole lot more than a headache the next day after 2 drinks at dinner. That’s the kinda vibe I’m into right now because..
It’s SEPTEMBER!
Fall, Autumn, the ‘BER months, sweater weather, VIBEZZ. I know the city will still have some heat and sun in the coming weeks, but I love it when that cool breeze comes around honey, it just refreshes me in a way that the summer heat never could. It’s a time to reset, it’s better than New Year’s! Bring on the cinnamon, apple, pumpkin, and cardamom. I don’t give a damn if it’s basic, I love that shit! I want to throw things out and put things on, change my bedding and pull the comforter up to my neck.
Okay back to our rebranding. Yes, OUR rebranding, should you wish to link arms with me and switch it up as well :)
Do you know how many times I’ve read or watched someone talk about some foo foo, la-di-da, almond granola advice about creating the ideal version of you? The ideal life!? Manifest! Think positively! What does it feel like, look like, smell like? Write it down, envision it, speak it out! I have taken in hundreds of these articles, reels, TikToks. And while I’ve never been one to feel negatively about this type of content, I quite like them actually, but I have to admit, I kind of just felt like that didn’t or couldn’t apply to me. That it was kinda bullshit, make-believe shit for views and also maybe just luck?
WELL. Where has that gotten me? Not anywhere bad, I mean I feel incredibly blessed to be where I am and have what I have and all that good stuff. I’ve adapted to be someone who takes each day as it comes while trusting that God has my back and that there’s a bigger plan for me. I’ve always felt so. And I still believe that!, but why do I think that really good things can’t happen for me? Why do I (subconsciously) put a cap on my life’s potential?
These are the questions I’d been putting on the back burner, and now they are all at the forefront. I’m addressing the ways in which I’ve been self-sabotaging myself. I no longer want to resist! Because the simple answer is I do deserve all the good things, I do deserve to have a comfortable life, financial security, body confidence, more time with my kids, a good relationship with my partner, my friends, I do deserve to have CHOICES. And you deserve all that shit too!
So this is what I’ve been up to.
I’m getting uncomfortable. I’m making the decision to keep trying every day. I may be reaching, okay, but what else am I going to do? Sit around?
I’m ignoring the little nagging voice in my head (or as The Artist’s Way refers to it, the CENSOR), and speaking to myself the way I would speak to my best friend if she ever dared to say some of the things I think, out loud.
I’m making the collage on Pinterest and saving it as my screensaver (this was actually really fun to do, I highly recommend it. It’s available to do on the app!!). I’m writing about future me in my morning pages, I’m asking to work in between sets with someone else at the gym instead of throwing my whole workout plan away, I’m saying no to the extra shift at work and saying yes to taking my kids to the playground for the fourth time that week. I’m choosing to put the phone away and go to SLEEP. I’m waking up earlier, I’m getting the steps in, I’m focusing my energy on the life I want, and not on LACK.
I applied to a social media manager job on LinkedIn this week. The listing had numerous requirements that I did not meet, but I mean, I can learn, I can do that, I know I can. I may not have agency experience, but I have this a shit ton of experience that I know would only add value. I may not have a bachelor’s degree but I have a good grip on common sense, great people skills, I have style, I have SASS, and I’m hilarious. She is beauty, she is grace, she is the one you should call for a job interview :)
NO ONE’S COMING BABE! No one is coming to save me. No one is coming to pay my bills, lift these booty cheeks, or turn the clock back. The only one who’s going to show up for me, FOR REAL, is ME. So start the Substack, record the vlog, post the photo, go on the date, wear the dress, fuckin say yes to what you really want and no to what doesn’t serve future you.
ANYWAY. Let’s all calm down.
I’m documenting what I’m going through as honestly as I can, because I just feel like I need to. And I want to. I’m into ME right now, as into me that a mom obsessed with her kids can be, anyway. I’m out of the infant stage and touching base with the Kathleen before and after becoming a mom again. I’m ready to meet that combined baddie.
I’m sorry not sorry if this has all come across as la-di-da, crunchy granola, but I like it here, it feels good, and I want to spread that energy around as much as I can. I’m excited for what’s next. For you and for me :)
Do you feel the need to make changes or shifts around this time of year?
What’s something you’ve been wanting to work on but just haven’t prioritized?
I love chatting in the comments, and I love a good email thread as well ;) I may not get back right away, but I will always get back.
Thank you for coming by. Next week I’ll be talking about my experience in Week 2 of The Artist’s Way!, as well as rambling as usual.
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kisses.
I loved this so much!! The honesty! The realness. I think we can get so cynical about these 'healing' eras, glow ups, rebrands etc...but they can really just be an earnest pivot towards a different direction that we needed. I'm here with you!!
OMG, this cracked me up 👉🏽 "No one is coming to pay my bills, lift these booty cheeks, or turn the clock back." I was today year's old when I realized I want someone to lift MY booty cheeks! 🤣 Also, I used to be a military recruiter and joined a civilian recruiter networking group. The biggest pet peeve they had was people thinking they had to have all the requirements in order to apply for a job. They actually never find a perfect candidate and the requirements are like a wish list! So good on you for applying for that job - I hope you get a call back!