Re: Taking A Sick Day
Walking Pneumonia, Parenting While Sick & Getting Back To It
I’ve been doom-scrolling so much this week, it’s a bit worrisome. My alone time has been between the hours of 11 and 1 am on TikTok watching POV’s, soap ASMR and winter arc routines. I have found myself at the mercy of my laptop screen, overthinking and feeling overly guilty about not knowing what to write about after over stimulating myself with the lives of others through my phone.
My son got sick a little over 2 weeks ago with what we assumed was a run-of-the-mill cold from school. A few kids in his class were out sick, and well, it comes with the territory. One gets sick, brings it home to the fam and everyone hopes for the best.
Well. It turns out that it was a bit more than a cold. Pneumonia. Pneumonia, which if you didn’t know, can be contagious. Some types, anyway. I don’t know about you, but pneumonia was a super scary word to hear growing up. Like you did not want to catch pneumonia. If you had pneumonia, you were going to die. That’s how I saw it on television and that’s how my mom broke it down to us.
I remember watching some character from Little House on the Prairie playing on T.V., and after spending a night in the cold and rain, got carried in on a horse, suffered a horrible fever that wouldn’t break and then passed away. Am I imagining this or did anyone else grow up thinking that Pneumonia was the kiss of death?
Mind you, I’m not downplaying it at all, it is a very serious respiratory infection that can indeed kill you, and hundreds of thousands of people die from it every year, so imagine my face 2 years ago when we took our son in for what we thought was strep throat, and a doctor walked in to casually tell us that he had pneumonia.
PARDON ME??!!
Well. I freaked out, cried, panicked, and blamed myself. At the same time, the very sweet resident explained how common it was and broke down the different types, noting that what Hudson had, wasn’t life-threatening. Still, his asthma exacerbated the coughing fits, and he would need antibiotic treatment right away.
We spent 2 nights together in hospital so they could monitor him and it was one of the scariest times of our lives. We went home with a new set of puffers, two prescriptions and higher blood pressure. Fast forward to 2024, a week of on-and-off fevers, muscle aches and worsening cough, we found ourselves back in the Emerg sooner than later because we recognized the symptoms. One listen to his lungs and a chest x-ray later confirmed it. Pneumonia again. Not only did he have it, but almost every kid in the waiting room did as well.
Stella started feeling sick soon after but thankfully didn’t need antibiotics, and I followed suit but also dodged the big P. I’m pleased to report that we are all on the mend now and feeling a lot more like ourselves, but damn, being sick is actually the worst ever?
Yes, I know that’s obvious. Who wants to feel like garbage? It’s crazy to me now when I think of how I would wish I’d get sick to get out of a school project, but that’s because I had no responsibilities, and I could watch Maury, Jenny Jones, and my mom would make Chicken arroz caldo soup for me to have between naps.
Now being sick means still doing everything I need to do as a functioning adult and parent, all while feeling like absolute trash. I can’t go to work, so I lose income. Temporary fixes like throat lozenges, Tylenol, prescriptions, honey, ginger shots, (more) Children’s Tylenol, Pedialyte, herbs, honey, tea, Kombucha, oil of oregano (which I stand by 100% btw, it def helps), Robitussin, whatever. If you happen to have all these things on hand already, great, but if you don’t? That shit adds up and isn’t always guaranteed to make you feel better.
What your body really needs is rest and lots of it, but that’s hard to come by when one kid is coughing up their lungs at 2, 3 and 5 am and the other has another fever coming on and is so full of snot that they can’t breathe. Your head is pounding and you just want to be put out of your misery, but little hands need you and everything else falls by the wayside.
The dishes pile up, the morning alarm gets turned off because hitting the gym is the last thing on my mind (which I started feeling the effects of by day 4). I cancel plans, take another sick day, call the school, email the daycare, put off journalling, put off reading. Oh, you’re drawing on the couch with markers? Go ahead baby, I’m tired. What’s that smell? Blanket on, blanket off, blanket on. So much laundry.
My eyes are red and puffy, my nose is dry and flaky from all the tissue friction but there’s also so much fluid coming from everywhere. I’m reminded of last November when I was sick with a throat infection and needed an I.V. for the pain. I’m telling you, I have noticed a pattern of developing some sort of cough every 3 or so months and it’s absolutely ridiculous, I really want to get to the bottom of it…
My only break is the hot shower where I make believe the sick can be washed away and for a moment, I breathe normally and force myself to hawk up and blow as much out of my nose and mouth as possible.
Everything feels like a huge effort on this slow climb toward normalcy. I drag my ass back to work because I can’t miss any more days and by the time the kids get their appetites back and I start feeling like me again, I’m all discombobulated and confused. I’ve somehow settled into this new normal. Don’t I live here now?
I feel squishy and weak and completely off but I know I want to get back on the horse, or the wagon, or whatever it is. I went back to the gym and still felt some shortness of breath but it felt good to move again. I’m dehydrated but sipping on my electrolytes (I love Liquid IV), and despite feeling unmotivated, I’m glad to feel that the discipline I’ve been working on over the last few months has pulled through and reminded me to stick to the plan and not my mood.
Starting the month of December on a Sunday does feel right in a lot of ways. A new week, a new month, another chance for reflection before the end of the year. And if you’ve also been in your Autumn/Winter grind working on yourself, making commitments to change, etc, you may have also felt that it feels a bit harder toward the bottom half of this quarter. There’s so much rush going on. The holidays, parties, balancing work and family time, budgeting, feeling creative, seasonal depression, battling the sun going down at 4 pm. It’s a lot
I’ve noticed how easy it is for my old behaviours and excuses to come back around in the winter. Being sick even made them seem appealing. Impostor syndrome, body image, self-criticism, doubt, worry, fear. Not being able to sleep and staring at the ceiling opens the doors wide open for intrusive thoughts to roll in. There’s a lot I could choose to worry about, and there will probably be times where I give in to it, but the best I can do most days is allow those thoughts to come in and roll right out.
It’s Sag season friends, which means I’m trying to get in a birthday mood. With pneumonia in the rearview mirror, I’m looking forward to putting makeup back on, getting our Christmas tree, decorating the house with the kids, playing N*SYNC’s Christmas album and celebrating me.
Leave a comment if you’ve also been sick as of late, and if you’re sick right now as you read this - I’m sending BIG HEALING HUGS!
You can also tap that little heart for me and leave a comment just because ;) It means a lot to me.
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Talk to you soon
Kisses
Thanks for this. I feel less guilty to be sick. Your article is so great
I felt so cozy reading this and so related, thank you for this ❤️